Published! My Butterfly Photo Appears in a Magazine
I had to finally come clean and face some hard truths about myself recently — I’m not a people person — when it comes to photography.
I’ve done a few photo shoots for people posing for the camera in the last few years. I’ve learned these are far different from the “volunteer” candid shoots I’ve always done in the past. (The ones where no one asked me to take pictures, but I showed up to the party and stuck my lens into the mix anyway.) I’m always grateful when someone asks me to provide photo services for any occasion. It means a lot that others think so much of my skills they want me to be the one who captures those special or important moments for them. I’m grateful for these opportunities, and I want so much to provide stunning images people will be happy with.
But during those shoots, I quietly panic and forget everything I’ve learned about posing, lighting and direction when I step behind the camera. I hold my breath and sweat through every click of the shutter. Then I second-guess every idea and technique I use during the editing process and spend hours revising and re-revising my work. No matter what stage of the process, I can’t seem to tune out the whispers telling me, “This all comes easily to other photographers. They naturally know how to make money taking pictures of people and you don’t. That’s why you’re not a real photographer.”
Those whispers were coming from my nemesis, Imposter Syndrome… who always shows up to “save me” by convincing me to stop trying before I inevitably fail.
Impostor Syndrome
If you’re not familiar with the concept, Imposter Syndrome is when you believe you’re incompetent at your job/skill/trade/craft, and that any success you might achieve is pure luck. You constantly compare yourself to others, feel pressured to perform perfectly and fear failure. But you try not to talk about it because it will expose you as the fraud you must surely be!
At some point, I’d let that voice convince me that real photographers took pictures of people, and they made money doing it. If I was going to make money doing this, “people pictures” was the way I had to go. And so I forgot why I first picked up a camera so long ago – to capture the beauty I would behold with my own eyes every time I went outdoors. It was nature that truly inspired me to get snap happy. I was very frustrated that my knack for nature photography didn’t automatically apply to photography of people, real estate, cars, food, etc.
But then I did actually earn a little cash with my camera – from a nature photo contest. I entered several more contests and eventually won another prize. I started uploading my work to stock photo sites and found a small measure of interest on the Adobe Stock platform. I created a storefront where my photos could be produced as prints and other products and sold a few things on Fine Art America. As it turns out, there’s another way to earn a couple of bucks… publishing.
Two of my butterfly photos were separately selected to be published along with articles in National Wildlife Magazine. The first was in 2019 when my Monarch Butterfly photo appeared in the 04/01 article, Bloom or Bust by Laura Tangley. I didn’t have to travel far to capture this moment – I snapped it right in my own backyard!
Published!
Earlier this year, I was contacted again with a request to include one of my photos in an upcoming issue of National Wildlife Magazine. This time, my photo of a Giant Swallowtail feeding from Coneflowers was chosen to accompany the 10/04/22 Shift ‘Spring Planting to Fall?’ article by Doreen Cubie Garden. To capture this moment, I’d traveled 70 miles to go camping for the weekend and as luck would have it, our campsite was directly across from a patch of coneflowers, daisies and thistle flowers. It was the perfect spot to get lots of shots of butterflies, hummingbirds and bees.
Transformation
This small accomplishment turned the volume down on those persistent “you’re a fraud!” whipsers in my mind… for a little while anyway. When I got my print copy of the magazine and payment for use of my photo, I let myself feel proud for a minute. And then those whispers hissed in my ear, “If you’re so great you’d be working harder to take photos of people! You should see what real photographers achieve!” I snapped. I’d had enough of that voice! It was time to face some truths in order to the torture I was putting myself through.
It wasn’t easy, but I admitted some things to myself… I’m not a professional photographer, and that’s okay. I don’t enjoy taking pictures of people, and that’s okay. My editing style doesn’t appeal to everyone, and that’s okay. Others will accomplish more and achieve their goals faster than I will, and that’s okay. It’s all okay because when I really think about it, I’m actually pretty happy with who I am.
I am Teresa, a hobbyist photographer who occasionally makes a sale and earns a prize. I am really good at taking pictures of flowers, birds, butterflies, animals and other subjects in nature. My moody, saturated approach to editing photos intensely appeals to my own attitude and personality. I know that another person’s “overnight success” does not diminish my own “slow-burn achievement.” I know that all it takes to be a real photographer is simply loving to use a camera, no matter who/what/where you choose to focus it.
Am I done trying to make money with photography? Of course not! (The drone cameras I have my eye on are crazy expensive!) But I am done trying to convince myself I need to be something I don’t want – or have – to be.